Dawn Pisturino's Blog

My Writing Journey

Killer Limericks

on March 10, 2022
(Warwick Davis in Leprechaun, 1993)

KILLERS

A killer rampaging a town,

Ran into a carnival clown.

The clown drew a knife

And took that man’s life,

Then started a spree of his own!

July 16, 2011

~

THE WITCH AND THE BURGLAR

A witch riding home on her broom

Spied a burglar trashing her room.

“I’ll get you for this!” she said with a hiss.

His head was soon found in Khartoum.

July 17, 2011

~

AN UPPITY CAT

A cat who liked veggies and cheese,

Refused to eat mouse canapes.

“I just can’t abide that tough, hairy hide.

I’d rather eat onions and peas!”

July 16, 2011

~

LIZZIE BORDEN

When Lizzie got awfully mad,

She hacked up her stepmom and dad.

The ax at her feet, she giggled and bleat,

“Why am I so terribly bad!”

September 26, 2011

~

The Sorcerer from Beijing

A sorcerer born in Beijing,

Found a magical jade dragon ring.

It breathed out green smoke,

Transforming that bloke

To a blood-thirsty cannibal king!

July 14, 2011

~

LIZZIE BORDEN II

When Lizzie got awfully mad,

She hacked up her stepmom and Dad.

Amazed by the mess, she had to confess:

“What a rip-roaring party we had!”

September 27, 2011

~

The Sorcerer from Beijing II

A sorcerer born in Beijing,

Found a magical jade dragon ring.

It breathed out green fire, burning all his attire

Except for one shoe and stocking!

July 7, 2011

~

The Man in Galloway Bay II

A man lost in Galloway Bay,

Cried out in a very loud bray,

“I’m lost in the sea, someone please rescue me!

I’ve been swimming for more than a day!”

July 7, 2011

~

The Old Man from Brazil II

There was an old man from Brazil,

Who ate ‘til he made himself ill.

He gave up the ghost, said good-bye to his host,

And flew home to his house on the hill.

July 7, 2011

~

A Nasty Old Gnome

A nasty old gnome name o’ Bill

Liked to puncture old teeth with a drill.

He gathered some bones from the graveyard he owns,

But that skeleton wouldn’t sit still!

February 5, 2012

~

The Man in Galloway Bay III

A man lost in Galloway Bay,

Cried out in a very loud bray,

“I’m lost in the sea,

Someone please rescue me!

The fishermen think I’m filet!”

July 7, 2011

~

St. Patrick’s Day is coming!

All limericks by:

Dawn Pisturino

March 10, 2022

Copyright 2011-2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.


30 responses to “Killer Limericks

  1. Jim Wingrove says:

    These are great LOL…I like Lizzie Borden…she was cool ,👍👍

    Liked by 3 people

  2. His Mama was always the one
    With wisdom second to none
    “Now off to the store
    I’m in need of some more
    So run, Forrest, run my son”

    But Mama, why you lookin’ so glum?
    I got what you wanted, then some
    I’ve been to the Rockies
    Got boxes of choccies …
    “No son, I said Rum, Forrest … RUM!”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My RESPECT!! You are the Limerick Queen in my eyes!! LOL Fabulous and perfect limericks!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. utahan15 says:

    something wicked that way came
    and all the same
    few to none noticed
    as round and round they
    went caliope
    merry went round
    hell bent bound

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Girlfriend, you are the Limerick Queen!!! 🤣😆😜😅😂😝 Honey, these are definitely some Killer Limericks!!! 🪓🩸🔪 I can’t believe the movie Leprechaun is almost 30 years old! ☘☘☘

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Equipping says:

    Thanks for your likes of my articles on the prophecies of Daniel; you are very kind.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michele Lee says:

    So creative and chilling! Lizzie is going to give me nightmares!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. thank you, I simply love to read limericks and they are all exceptional!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Happy St. Patrick’s!🍀 Thanks for this blog! It’s the BEST!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You were killing it in 2011!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Elatabishop says:

    Good compilation

    Liked by 1 person

  12. balladeer says:

    These were fun! Pretty much the “random lol” category.

    Liked by 1 person

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