I’ve been riding a roller coaster of emotions for the last month because a crazy guy formed a connection with me. I have PTSD from things that happened to me in the past, and his unwanted attention kicked it into maximum overdrive. Writing, focusing, and functioning have been difficult, although I’ve been trying to maintain a regular routine.
This guy has been driving by my house with his dog for over a year. I could always hear him coming down the road because he would go slow and let his dog yap through the open window. He has an adorable dog, and I enjoyed hearing that dog bark when he drove by, as crazy as that sounds, because it made me smile. He came by about the same time every evening, and it was always just him and his dog. I could never get a good look at the guy because he always sat hunched down in the seat, but he was a white guy with a beard and wore a hat or bandanna on his head. I thought he was weird. It was creepy how he drove around like that every evening, even when gas was $5.00 a gallon. I figured he worked all day and then hung out with his dog after work. But he seemed like the loneliest guy in the world.
As I became more aware of him, he became more aware of me. I had a strange feeling that he and I would eventually come face to face.
The dirt road behind our property crosses a dry wash. I often walk through our back lot and along that dirt road into the wash. The wash curves behind our neighbors’ properties and onto another road. As I came from the wash one evening, who did I run into in his truck? The weird guy. He leered at me and smiled. We recognized each other, locked eyes, and something passed between us. I immediately felt uncomfortable, vulnerable, easy prey, and targeted. But like a stupid fool, I waved at him without thinking, and we both went our separate ways.
A few days later, he saw me walking down the road and stopped his truck to talk to me. He had his dog with him and started talking to me as best friends. I immediately felt a strong creep vibe and SEXUAL PREDATOR kept flashing in my head. Although he looked like a fully mature adult, he was much younger than me and came off as childish with an intellectual disability. We had a short conversation about rattlesnakes and dog bites. Although he was friendly and very polite, he kept trying to play on my sympathies and reel me in, but I cut it off, wished him a good evening, and headed home. I walked away feeling a strong connection between us and kept saying to myself: “I don’t want to have a connection with this guy.”
I have fifteen years of experience working with inpatient psychiatric patients and made a quick mental health assessment in my head as we were talking. I concluded the following based on his body language, speech, presentation, and interaction:
Delayed thought processes (mentally slow)
Unable to keep up the conversation (inarticulate)
poor education
Sexually and emotionally deprived
Socially awkward and sexually inept
Looking for attention, intimacy, and a mother to nurture and take care of him
Very needy
Mommy issues – either living with his mother or no mother in the picture
Probable history of psychiatric care and medication
Use of pornography and possible sexual molestation of children (based on his childish nature)
Possible criminal history
Once again, I felt uncomfortable, vulnerable, easy prey, and targeted, but at least I knew something about the guy. I told my husband about the incident and figured things would go on as usual. Instead, the guy’s behavior changed, and he began to drive by at odd hours, with and without his dog. I got a couple of weird phone calls. You know, the ones where nobody says anything but you can hear that someone is on the other end of the line. Two dogs went missing from the neighborhood. Dead snakes were showing up in odd places. I figured he felt rejected and was punishing me in some way. I looked through the county sex offender registry but didn’t find anyone who looked like him.
Things calmed down, then we passed each other on the road when I was going to town and he recognized me. That set off a whole new chain of events. A few days ago, he started honking his horn in front of my house. My husband was in the yard, though, and when the guy saw him, he took off. At 4:30 the next afternoon, I had just climbed into a nice hot bubble bath when I heard a big commotion outside. My dog was barking, and I heard the guy racing up and down the road in front of my house with his dog barking. I was pissed. I climbed out of the tub, wrapped myself in a towel, and ran to the window. He took off. He drove by around the same time the next day but seemed calmer and just looked at the house and kept driving.
I talked to my husband about the whole thing. I told him: “If something happens to me, you’ll be the first suspect, and the guy honking his horn will be the second. Remember that!” I told him I would ignore these childish antics and start carrying my .38 special when walking or working in the yard. He said, “If you have to shoot someone, make sure you finish the job.”
Since things have calmed down again, I hope the guy got it out of his system and will leave me alone. I don’t know his name, where he lives, or anything about him, and he hasn’t broken any laws. There’s nothing to give the sheriff’s office. But he knows where I live, my car, the truck my husband drives, and presumably, my phone number. My biggest fear is that he will harm my dog or my husband or start doing property damage. The BIG UNKNOWN makes me anxious, afraid, hypervigilant, angry, and depressed.
I started watching a documentary series about psychopaths on Discovery+ and Googled the characteristics of stalkers. This guy fits the profile of a Private Stranger Stalker, Intimacy Seeking Stalker, and Incompetent Suitor Stalker. He may even be a Predatory Stalker. According to the articles, most stalkers are obsessive, narcissistic, socially awkward and inept, controlling, manipulative, attention-seeking, and feel no empathy for their victims. They want the victim to constantly think about them and react to their actions. They want to possess and control the victim to feel powerful, dominant, and adequate. It’s been estimated that 50% of stalkers suffer from some form of mental illness, including schizophrenia, psychosis, and personality disorders. Women are the most likely victims, and men the most likely stalkers, but anyone can be a victim or a stalker. The most dangerous stalkers have been involved in domestic violence and broken relationships.
Why did it happen to me? I was there. I was visible and presumably available. I was fair game, vulnerable, and an easy mark. All the time that guy was driving by my house, he watched me work in the yard, feed the dog, perform routine chores, paint the front deck and front door, read books, and work on the driveway. He saw me walking in the desert alone. Whatever fantasy or need he was feeding, I fit the bill.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to write this post because it’s so intensely personal, but I thought it would be therapeutic, increase public awareness, and help others.
Thanks for listening! Stay safe!
Dawn Pisturino
May 22, 2023
Copyright 2023 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
The final project for my Online Digital Obsessions class asked us to create a fictitious patient with an electronic addiction, adopt the role of a college counselor, do a full psychosocial assessment, and create a treatment plan for this patient’s therapeutic intervention. In the end, we were required to predict the challenges and outcomes for this patient. At this time, there is no official diagnosis, “Internet Gaming Disorder.” The proposed diagnosis was referred for further study by the American Psychiatric Association. However, it is expected to be adopted in the future. Playing video games is only a problem when it becomes the dominant interest in somebody’s life and undermines their normal functioning in day-to-day living.
Adjustment Disorder and Internet Gaming Disorder
by Dawn Pisturino
Thomas Edison State University
Introduction
Jeremy Reed is an 18-year-old Caucasian male who was referred to counseling by his academic advisor for depression. He says that adjusting to university life has been difficult, and he has been feeling increasingly depressed. He began playing World of Warcraft on his computer to relieve stress and cope with his depressed feelings. He became so involved in the game that he began neglecting his homework, and his grades are suffering. His academic advisor referred him to counseling so he does not lose his full-ride scholarship to the university.
The client says that playing World of Warcraft makes him “feel good,” and he does not want to stop. He has made new friends and become a “top player.” He admits to feeling more depressed and irritable when he is not playing the game. I explain to Jeremy—who is a biology major—that he feels good when he plays World of Warcraft because the activity activates the reward system in his brain and stimulates the release of dopamine. The more he activates this system, however, the more he craves the gratifying pleasure produced by the game. He needs to spend more hours playing the game to reach that same level of pleasure and craves playing the game when he is not able to do so. Playing the game has become more important to him than his academic performance, so he is neglecting his schoolwork and falling behind. As he loses control over his impulse to play, I explain, his life will spiral more and more out of control. He is at great risk for not sleeping and eating, neglecting his hygiene, alienating his roommate, and losing his scholarship and admission to the university if he does not reduce his game playing and start improving his academic performance. Jeremy agrees that this is true but also states that he does not want to completely give up playing the game (Gros et al., 2020, pp. 2-4; Tavormina & Tavormina, 2017, pp. 422-424).
Clinical Assessment
For this assessment, I am using the Therapist Clinical Assessment/Psychosocial Assessment tools used routinely at Flagstaff Medical Center Behavioral Health Unit in Flagstaff, Arizona, and the PHQ-9 questionnaire because I am familiar with these forms. The PHQ-9 is used to screen clients for symptoms of depression and has a proven track record of accuracy and reliability. Clients who fill out the form are scored based on their responses. Scores equal to or greater than 10 can indicate a depressive disorder (American Psychological Association, 2020, para. 1-2).
The client, Jeremy Reed, presents as withdrawn with a flat affect and a disheveled appearance. His thought processes are linear and logical with organized thinking. He is alert and oriented. His speech is coherent and clear, but he is delayed in his responses. His psychomotor activity appears normal, but he makes poor eye contact. His thought content is realistic, but he exhibits poor insight into his excessive video game activity even though his memory and judgment are within normal limits. He denies hearing voices, having hallucinations, or experiencing extreme mood swings.
Jeremy denies any current suicidal and homicidal ideation. He denies any actual self-harm or harm to others. He denies any thoughts of suicide/homicide in the past or making any gestures or threats of violence against others.
The client denies any history of sexual, verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. He does not recall witnessing any extreme acts of violence. He reports that his parents argue sometimes but always resolve their differences amicably. He is an only child and has no half-siblings or step-siblings.
Jeremy confirms that he is a healthy heterosexual male with little sexual experience. He is currently single and not sexually active. Although he would like to have a girlfriend, he believes it would interfere even more with his studies.
The client says he is a nominal Protestant and only attends church at Christmas and Easter. He has experimented with yoga and meditation in the past to live a healthier lifestyle. He does not routinely pray or engage in spiritual practices.
Jeremy currently lives on campus in a dorm and has no housing needs. He is unemployed at the moment but worked part-time at Burger King in high school. He is studying biology and plans a career as a biologist. Since he has a full-ride scholarship to the university, his parents help out with his expenses. He says he does not want to lose his scholarship or disappoint his parents.
The client has no military experience and no legal difficulties. He has never been arrested or suspended from school. As far as he knows, his developmental history was normal.
Jeremy says he played basketball in high school and still enjoys playing when he can find the time and other players. He has no significant medical history, no known allergies, and takes no prescribed medications. The client appears well-nourished and physically fit. His tonsils were removed at age 10. He broke his arm when he fell off his bike at age 12. He is already registered with the university’s student health services. Currently, he reports staying up late playing video games, feeling tired the next day, and eating too much junk food. He says he lacks the motivation and concentration to study.
The client denies any mental health history. He states that his depression and anxiety began a couple of months ago when he began his freshman year of college. This is his first time living away from home, and he is having trouble adjusting to university life, living with a roommate, and being away from his family. He is carrying a full load of credits and feels stressed out and overwhelmed by all the homework, expectations, and pressure.
Jeremy believes his paternal grandfather was a heavy smoker and alcohol drinker. His father drinks alcohol occasionally, mostly on holidays. His mother takes Vistaril occasionally for anxiety. He admits to trying cannabis twice but did not like it. He denies all other substance use except alcohol, which he uses occasionally on the weekends. His only source of caffeine is Coca-Cola.
The client states that his main form of recreation right now is playing Internet video games, i.e., World of Warcraft. He wants to cut back and resume his studying, but he derives a lot of satisfaction from the game and does not want to stop playing the game completely. He admits that he loses track of time while on the game. He is not fully motivated to quit.
Jeremy describes his strengths as being goal-oriented and a good student. He is strongly motivated to complete his college degree and start work as a biologist. He describes his weaknesses as being too introverted and serious. He believes he has poor coping skills when it comes to stress. He wants help overcoming his depression and anxiety but says he is not interested in taking medication. Although he does not see playing video games as a serious problem, he admits that it has already affected his grades and academic standing. His PHQ-9 score is 13, with 4 boxes checked in the gray areas. His score indicates moderate depression that is making it difficult for him to function at his normal baseline (American Psychological Association, 2020, para. 1-3).
Probable Diagnoses and Treatment Plan
Probable Diagnoses
Problem #1 – Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood (ICD Code F43.23) ( ICD-10 Coded, 2022, para. 1)
Adjustment disorder occurs when a person is faced with a stressful life situation, such as going away to school. Jeremy describes having a difficult time adjusting to university life and being away from home. He has no prior history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. His symptoms appeared less than three months ago after arriving on campus for his freshman year, meeting the DSM-V criteria. He reports increasing depression and anxiety that are affecting his ability to cope with his new situation. If Jeremy agrees with the assessment and treatment plan, his prognosis looks good. (American Psychiatric Association, 2015, pp. 120-121; Kenardy, 2014, para. 1-3; Mayo Clinic, 2023, para. 1-13).
Problem #2 – Internet Gaming Disorder (no ICD code until ICD-11) ( Petry et al., 2015, pp. 1,7)
Internet gaming disorder (IGD) appears in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of MentalDisorders, 5th Edition (DSM-V) in Section III under the heading of “Conditions for Further Study.” The DSM-V provides criteria for IGD that closely align with the criteria for other addictive disorders, like substance use disorder and gambling disorder. Clients who meet at least five of the criteria could be considered suffering from or at high risk for Internet gaming disorder (Petry et al., 2015, pp. 1-5).
Jeremy has been playing Internet video games to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. He has been spending increasing amounts of time playing video games and spending less time sleeping and studying. As a result, his academic performance has declined, and he risks losing his full-ride scholarship. Currently, Jeremy meets six of the criteria on the DSM-V list of criteria: preoccupation, tolerance, neglecting other activities, escapism, and risking losing his educational opportunities. He has only been playing for a couple of months and is not fully motivated to quit, even though he recognizes that he needs to make some changes in his life. If he agrees with the assessment and treatment plan, however, his prognosis looks good (Petry et al., 2015, pp. 2-3).
Treatment Plan
Goals and Objective
Jeremy’s primary concern is protecting his full-ride scholarship and earning his biology degree. His second goal is to learn new coping skills to deal with his depression, anxiety, and stress. His third goal is to achieve more balance in his life between studying and recreation. His fourth goal is to reduce his time playing video games and participate in more physical activities, like basketball. Overall, the client’s objective is to return to his normal baseline status before going away to college. He wants the same self-confidence and control over his life that he had before. He wants to regain his motivation and commitment to studying and succeeding in school. He wants a positive outcome that will help him grow as a person and mature into adulthood.
Action Plan
Psychotherapy is the primary evidence-based treatment for both adjustment disorder and Internet gaming disorder (IGD). The client will benefit from weekly psychotherapy sessions to discuss how and why leaving home and starting college has made such a huge impact on his well-being, including his use of video games to relieve stress. If psychotherapy is insufficient to stabilize the client, a course of medication may be helpful. The client, however, is unwilling to try medication at this time (American Psychiatric Association, 2015, pp. 63, 121; Gros et al., 2020, p. 15; Kenardy, 2014, para. 4, 6-7, 10; Mayo Clinic, 2023, para. 22-23; Petry et al., 2015, p. 6; Tavormina & Tavormina, 2017, p. 424; Torres-Rodriguez et al., 2017, pp. 1003, 1005-1006, 1010-1011).
Interventions
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is effective in helping clients to recognize and re-frame harmful patterns of thought and behavior. The client will be referred to a therapist who is proficient in CBT since it has been proven successful in treating both adjustment disorder and IGD. I will encourage the client to continue seeing me on a weekly basis at the clinic for one-to-one motivational and support counseling and provide him with opportunities to participate in clinical workshops that will help him to learn new skills in stress management, anger management, relaxation activities, mindfulness and resilience training, and goal-focused solutions. With Jeremy’s cooperation, we will devise a schedule that maps out times for study, recreation, and playing video games that supports his class schedule and enhances his goals and objective. I will suggest that he join a campus support group for new students. I will refer him to mental health peer support services for monitoring and help. If the client requires medication, I will refer him to a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner for evaluation and prescriptions.
I will get consent from the client to speak to his parents, make them aware of the situation, and offer them support. Since Jeremy is in a vulnerable age group, he needs intense support to get through this temporary setback. Otherwise, this could turn into an ongoing issue (American Psychiatric Association, 2015, pp. 63, 121; Gros et al., 2020, p. 15; Kenardy, 2014, para. 4, 6-7, 10; Mayo Clinic, 2023, para. 22-23; Petry et al., 2015, p. 6; Tavormina & Tavormina, 2017, p. 424; Torres-Rodriguez et al., 2017, pp. 1003, 1005-1006, 1010-1011).
Challenges
Since Jeremy is highly motivated to protect his full-ride scholarship and complete his degree, his prognosis is good as long as he follows the treatment plan. Challenges include ongoing depression, anxiety, and stress that may undermine his motivation, time constraints due to carrying a full load, and relapsing on playing video games. I will provide him with literature and books that will help him to understand the biological, neurological, and psychological nature of his problems. This may pique his interest as a biology student and keep him involved in his therapy. I will suggest that he drop any extra credits that he is taking. The client will be given positive encouragement and reinforcement to stick to his goals. I will work with his assigned peer support person to monitor his progress and participation.
Conclusion
Eighteen-year-old Jeremy Reed was referred to my office for depression, anxiety, and excessive playing of video games by his academic advisor. Jeremy’s symptoms began when he moved into the campus dorm to start his freshman year of college a few months ago. Since then, he has been spending more time playing video games and less time studying. His academic performance has suffered, putting his full-ride scholarship at risk.
This client is positive for symptoms of adjustment disorder and Internet gaming disorder. His age makes him a high risk for long-term mental health issues, including suicide, if he does not participate in treatment. If he cannot control, reduce, or eliminate his video game activity, he will continue to decline academically, which will impact other areas of his life (Kenardy, 2014, para. 2).
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2015). Understanding mental disorders: Your guide to
dsm-5. Washington: American Psychiatric Publishing.
American Psychological Association. (2020). Patient health questionnaire. American
I’m pleased and honored to announce that my poem, The Girl on the Bus, has been published today on Spillwords. I want to thank Dagmara K. and the staff at Spillwords for publishing it. Please visit Spillwords and show them your support. Thanks!
The Girl on the Bus
by Dawn Pisturino
The bus driver watched you in the mirror,
His eyes wide with fear,
When you stood up in the middle of the bus,
Crying like a terrified child.
Passengers waited with bated breath,
Wondering what you would do.
The sharpness of your pain . . .
Please visit Spillwords here to read the rest. Thank you so much!
Have a beautiful day!
Dawn Pisturino
November 17, 2022
Copyright 2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
I’ve visited many art galleries and museums, including the De Young Museum in San Francisco, the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, and the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York City, and seen many wonderful and inspiring paintings, but what really stands out in my mind is Vincent Van Gogh’s The Starry Night. Its brilliant blue and yellow colors, active night sky, and peaceful ambience (in spite of the strong brush strokes and turbulent sky) provoke speculation, mystery, and fascination, in my mind. What was Van Gogh thinking? What was he feeling? Most importantly, what was he seeing?
It’s well known that he suffered from mental illness and attempted to commit suicide by shooting himself in the chest. He later died of the wound. His death surprised people who believed that he was actually in a more positive frame of mind at the time of his death. But who knew what was really going on in his mind and in his heart?
(People who have decided to kill themselves often appear more positive and energetic because they have made the final decision and no longer feel conflicted about their actions. In fact, people can feel so depressed that they lack the energy to actually harm themselves. Appearances are deceiving, and it’s important to remember this if you are dealing with someone in your life who suffers from depression and suicidal ideation.)
Sometimes, people ask if persons who are mentally ill are more artistic than others. When I worked in mental health, I met scores of patients who were phenomenal artists. Not only did they possess an exceptional natural talent for art, but engaging in art helped them to concentrate their attention, focus their thoughts, freely express their ideas and emotions, make sense of the larger world around them, distract them from troubling thoughts and feelings, and help them to cope with anxiety and depression. (When I worked in Flagstaff, we had an actual art therapist who would come in and do art projects with the patients.) I cannot say that their mental illness made them more artistic. In some cases, their lack of self-esteem and confidence actually caused them to suppress their talent. On the other hand, people who are intimately in touch with their emotions make great artists because they can freely express themselves without regard to social convention and self-constraint. But people who are over-sensitive and cannot manage their own emotions can be more susceptible to mental health issues.
So, it’s a conundrum. Did Vincent Van Gogh’s mental illness make him a great artist – or did his mental illness interfere with his natural artistic talent? I don’t know.
What do you say?
Perhaps Don McLean can answer that question:
(“Vincent” by Don McLean – one of my favorite songs)
Dawn Pisturino
October 10, 2022
Copyright 2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
I’m thrilled to announce that my poem, “Psychology,” has been published today on Spillwords. I want to thank Dagmara K. and all of her lovely staff for this opportunity to share my poetry. I feel truly honored.
PSYCHOLOGY
written by: Dawn Pisturino
A psychologist by trade, She brought order from chaos, Splicing together the broken threads Of fragile minds: Listening for the right tone, The right inflection, the right notes To harmonize the deepest Fears and desires of her clients. But, in her own disordered brain . . .
Please head on over to Spillwords here to read the rest of my poem and all of the other featured selections for today.
Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart!
Dawn Pisturino
June 18, 2022
Copyright 2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
And, don’t forget to check out the Wounds I Healed: The Poetry of Strong Women anthology, now available on Amazon and Kindle. #1 in Amazon New Releases of Poetry Anthologies. Thanks!
Abstract Attachment disorders arise when children experience prolonged and persistent abuse and neglect. They are unable to form attachments and respond to the world with anger, defiance, and aggression. They resist authority figures and defy social rules. Without early intervention, these children are at high risk for delinquency, criminality, and the commission of violent crimes.
Attachment Disorder and Crime Criminologists recognize that antisocial behaviors, which are more common in males, can lead to an increase in criminality and violent crime (Siegel, 2012). Much of their research has been based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory. Psychoanalyst John Bowlby studied Lorenz’s research on imprinting. He concluded that “children come into the world biologically pre-programmed to form attachments with others, because this will help them to survive” (McLeod, 2007). Failure to make secure attachments can lead to “affectionless psychopathy” later in life (McLeod, 2007). “Attachment is an enduring affective bond characterized by a tendency to seek and maintain proximity to a specific person, particularly when under stress” (Levy, 2000). This bond is created between mother and child during the nine months of pregnancy and the first two years of life (Levy, 2000). The mother-child bond is unique and forms through social releasers — behaviors that ensure a reciprocal response between mother and child (McLeod, 2007). Smiling, eye contact, holding, rocking, touching, and feeding are cues which create a “mutual regulatory system” (Levy, 2000). When the mother-child bond fails to develop, infants can suffer from severe colic and feeding difficulties, fail to gain weight and reach important developmental milestones, remain detached and unresponsive, refuse to be comforted, and respond too readily to strangers (Attachment Disorders, 2014). Children need a “secure base” to learn trust and reciprocity, qualities which lay the foundation for all future relationships (Levy, 2000). They must be able to explore their environment without fear and anxiety so they can attain full cognitive and social development (Levy, 2000). A strong, secure attachment between mother (or other primary caregiver) and child helps the child to learn self-regulation (self-management of impulses and emotions) (Levy, 2000). The child has the opportunity to form a strong self-identity, competence, and self-worth and to create balance between dependence on the mother and his own autonomy (Levy, 2000). A secure base allows the child to learn empathy and compassion and to develop a conscience (Levy, 2000). A well-established core belief system helps the child to evaluate himself, his caregiver, and the world around him (Levy, 2000). He learns resourcefulness and the resilience to cope with stress and adverse events (Levy, 2000). Even adopted infants can “develop healthy attachment relationships” in the first year of life if raised in a safe and secure environment by a caregiver who is consistently responsive to their needs (Reebye, 2007). Children with Down Syndrome tend to develop attachments later, during the 12-24 month period (Reebye, 2007). Secure attachment allows children to develop positive patterns of cognition, behavior, and interaction which help them to survive successfully within the family and society at large (Levy, 2000). They internalize altruism, empathy, compassion, kindness, and morality, qualities which lead to proper social behavior and social cohesion. They learn to view themselves, the caregiver, life, and the world as essentially good, safe, and worthwhile. Children who do not develop secure attachments experience just the opposite. They learn to view themselves, the caregiver, life, and the world as hostile, dangerous, and worthless (Levy, 2000). By age four, these children exhibit symptoms of chronic aggression — “rage, bullying, defiance, and controlling interactions with others” (Levy, 2000). These are the children who overwhelm the child welfare and juvenile justice systems and carry diagnoses of conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and antisocial personality disorder. Children with severe attachment disorder typically engage in cruelty to animals, bed-wetting, fire-setting, pathological lying, and self-gratification at the expense of others. They are predatory and vindictive, controlling and manipulative. They lack empathy, remorse, and a moral conscience. They are unable to form close relationships with others because they never experienced it themselves. Adults with these traits are often labeled psychopaths and may become serial killers and mass murderers (Levy, 2000). The motivations for their crimes are manipulation, dominance, and control. They feel powerless and inferior, committing horrific crimes against others as a way to release their frustrations and hostilities (Levy, 2000). But why do some children fail to develop a secure attachment to their mother or other primary caregiver? Researchers have determined several common factors — “abuse and neglect, single-parent homes, stressed caregivers, parents with criminal records” (Levy, 2000). Other factors include parental mental illness, substance abuse, and a history of maltreatment. Within the family, persistent conflict and violence lead to childhood anxiety, fear, and insecurity. Children learn that violence is an acceptable way of dealing with life (Levy, 2000). Poverty, living in an unstable community rife with violence, access to weapons, and graphic depictions of violence on TV and in the movies desensitizes children. They learn to “express feelings, solve problems, boost self-image, and attain power” through aggression and violence (Levy, 2000).
Prenatal drug and alcohol abuse, maternal stress, birth complications, prematurity, nutritional deprivation, and genetics can lead to inherited personality traits and brain damage that interfere with learning, attention spans, and impulse control. Compound this with a firmly-established attachment disorder, and a child is likely to be difficult to control, impulsive, hyperactive, defiant, aggressive, indifferent to learning, and angry (Levy, 2000). Children who are maltreated are often found in foster care, kinship care, adoptive care, and orphanages (Chaffin, 2006). This includes children adopted from other countries. They grow up in unstable environments, without the consistent affection and nurturing required to develop secure attachments (Chaffin, 2006). They may grow up with suppressed anger that causes them to “seek control, resist authority, engage in power struggles and antisocial behavior” (Chaffin, 2006). They become self-centered, resist close attachments, and eventually fall into delinquency and criminality (Chaffin, 2006). Teenagers still need a “secure base” as they wrestle with independence versus security (Mathew, 1995). If a teenager has developed a secure attachment to his mother or other primary caregiver, he will weather the storms of adolescence with more resilience and adaptive abilities to cope with stress and change. A strong, loving family environment teaches teenagers social competence and self-confidence. Adolescents who grow up in unstable, inconsistent homes torn apart by conflict and violence develop “psychopathology resulting from the inability to function competently in social situations” (Mathew, 1995). “Delinquency, addiction, and depression” grow out of “inadequate problem-solving” (Mathew, 1995). The teenager suffering from attachment disorder is incapable of interpreting and responding to social cues in appropriate ways (Mathew, 1995). They view the world as a hostile place, attribute hostile intentions to other people, and respond aggressively.
Decades of research have found clear links between early childhood abuse and neglect, attachment disorder, and delinquency and violence later in life. It is not surprising, then, that children under age twelve have committed some of the cruelest crimes or that adolescent males are three times more likely to commit violent crimes than their female counterparts (Levy, 2000). Method
Process Research was conducted online through EBSCO and Google Scholar using the keywords “attachment disorder,” “John Bowlby,” and “attachment disorder and crime.” Results Attachment theory has been around for a long time. It has been studied and expanded on by others. A lot of research is available concerning attachment theory, maternal deprivation hypothesis, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED), secure base distortion, rage theory, disordered attachment, disorganized attachment, disoriented attachment, and insecure attachment. These are all variations on the same theme — early childhood abuse and neglect lead ultimately to emotional detachment, dysfunction, anger, defiance, and aggression. Discussion Traditional psychotherapeutic tools are ineffective on children suffering from attachment disorder because these children are unable to trust others and form the therapeutic bond necessary to engage in treatment (Levy, 2000). Without early intervention, however, these children are at high risk for risky behaviors, criminality, and incarceration.
Several treatment modalities have been developed to help children overcome their attachment difficulties. Most focus on learning how to trust and feel secure. One of the more controversial, Holding Nurturing Process (HNP), involves forcibly holding the child and maintaining eye contact, which is supposed to promote secure attachment and self-regulation (Chaffin, 2006). HNP has been associated with the death of several children, however, and criminal charges have been filed against some attachment therapists and parents (Chaffin, 2006). The most effective attachment therapies allow the child to gradually build up trust with a committed therapist who then works with the child to re-program patterns of negative thinking and behaving (Levy, 2000). Therapy is based on the individual needs of the child and involves family, school, and community. The child learns positive coping skills that help him to function successfully within the family and society. Parents and other primary caregivers can undergo Corrective Attachment Therapy in order to enhance their parenting skills and learn specific tools for dealing with a difficult child (Levy, 2000). Parent and child must go through therapy simultaneously so that they both learn mutual caring and respect; open up to feelings of affection; set up limits, rules, and boundaries; share empathy and compassion; and learn how to be in tune with one another (Levy, 2000). If high risk families can be identified early in the process, families can be enrolled in special programs and children can receive the treatment they need to overcome the damage already done.
References
Attachment disorders. (2014, January). American Academy of Child & Adolescent
Psychiatry. Retrieved from
http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_youth/Facts_ For_Families/FFF-Guide/Attachment-Disorders-085.aspx. Chaffin, M., Hanson, R., Saunders, B., Nichols, T., Barnett, D., Zeanah, C., Berliner, L., . . . Miller-Perrin, C. (2006). Report of the apsac task force on attachment therapy, reactive attachment disorder, and attachment problems. Child Maltreatment, 11(1), 76-89. doi: 10.1177/1077559505283699. Levy, Terry M. & Orlans, M. (2000). Attachment disorder as an antecedent to violence and antisocial patterns in children. In Levy, Terry M., Editor, Handbook of attachment inter- ventions (pp. 1-26). San Diego, CA: Academic Press. Mathew, S., Rutemiller, L., Sheldon-Keller, A., Sheras, P., Canterbury, R. (1995). Attachment
and social problem solving in juvenile delinquents (Report No. 143). Washington, D.C.: Educational Resources Information Center. McLeod, S. (2007). Bowlby’s attachment theory. Simply Psychology. Retrieved from
http://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html. Reebye, P. & Kope, T. (2007). Attachment disorders. BC Medical Journal, 49(4), 189-193. Siegel, Larry J. (2012). Criminology. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
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Dawn Pisturino, RN
Mohave Community College
Criminology 225 November 29, 2016
Copyright 2016-2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
COVID-19 put the whole world into a panic. There’s been a lot of verbal abuse, finger pointing, bullying, outright lying, extreme government overreach, hysteria, hypochondria, anxiety, hostility, and fear to last a lifetime. Everybody’s life has been upset in one way or another, with no end in sight. We’ve seen people at their worst.
The question is: if the pandemic ended tomorrow, how would we heal the broken relationships, reverse the mistrust that people feel, overcome the lies, forgive the hurtful words and accusations, and unite as a people? The damage has already been done. People turned on each other like rabid dogs. Some people are still expressing their hatred; their desire to hurt others; their need to segregate; their willingness to kill others who don’t comply with their demands.
The long-term social effects of COVID-19 — and the inept and malicious way in which it has been handled — is a mountain we still have to climb. Will you trust your doctor again? Your teacher? Government bureaucracy? The CDC? DHHS? NIH? The president? Congress? Facebook? Twitter? Big Pharma? Corporate America? The twisted media? The unions? Your interfering ex-friends? Your spying neighbors? Your stressed-out boss? Divisive family members? Attention-seeking celebrities? Will you ever trust ANYONE again?
Will you ever feel safe again? Feel healthy again? Or will you live in fear of the next germ that shows up to affect our lives? Will you still douse yourself in hand sanitizer and wash your hands 10 times a day? Will you still stay 6 feet away from everybody, thereby preventing new relationships into your life? Will you keep popping the tranquilizers, sipping the booze, smoking the weed to alleviate your anxiety? Will you suffer from permanent social anxiety and fear as a result of your experience with the pandemic?
What about the children? Will they be able to trust our authority figures again? Their teachers? Their parents? Their pediatricians? Will they have long-term anxiety and lung problems from wearing masks all day? From social isolation? Inadequate learning? Have they lost valuable social and language skills that would have contributed to their success in life?
And who’s addressing these issues? And does anybody really care?
Dawn Pisturino, RN
January 31, 2022
Copyright 2022 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
A man took his wife to the doctor. After a short examination the doctor said, “Your wife’s mind is completely gone!” To which the man replied, “I’m not surprised. She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the past 25 years!”
We all know that laughing feels good, but researchers are now confirming that laughter is good for us.
A study done at the University of Maryland Medical Center showed that laughter can actually relax arteries and increase blood flow.
Laughter is good aerobic exercise. It increases the heart rate, improves our ability to use oxygen, helps clear the lungs, and lowers blood pressure.
When we laugh, our muscles relax and tension is released. The production of stress hormones is reduced, and we feel a greater sense of control over our situation.
Humor and laughter have been shown to reduce anxiety and pain and to enhance the immune system.
Laughing makes us feel good because it stimulates the release of endorphins in the brain, natural substances which give us a feeling of euphoria.
Laughter is a form of communication which strengthens our bonds with other people, makes us feel younger, and gives us more energy.
Humor is a form of creative expression which helps us to cope with life’s problems and allows us to comment on the human condition.
Laughter therapy is now being utilized by healthcare and mental health professionals to promote more positive outcomes in patients. Corporations have discovered that humor programs are an effective way to reduce stress in the workplace.
The next time you’re feeling depressed or stressed, give yourself a little laughter therapy! Watch a funny movie, TV show, or favorite comedian. Pick up a joke book. Hang out with someone with a good sense of humor. Play with your kids. Do something silly and fun. Memorize your own jokes and tell them to everyone you meet. Throw an impromptu party.
As Thomas Edison once advised, “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out okay.”
Dawn Pisturino April 2, 2007
Copyright 2007-2021 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
As a registered nurse, I took an oath to treat all of my patients equally, regardless of race, color, nationality, religion, sex, or anything else. So, it appalls me when I read stories about doctors, nurses, and even whole hospitals refusing to treat unvaccinated patients. THAT’S POLITICS – NOT HEALTHCARE. If you work in healthcare, you take all the necessary precautions, and you get in there and treat the patient, regardless of your personal feelings. Otherwise, you deserve to lose your license to practice.
In 2008, America had become color-blind enough to elect the first black President, Barack Obama. My husband and I both voted for him and were proud to do so at that time. And yet, here we are, thirteen years later, backsliding as a society into judging people by their superficial appearance and using race, prejudice, and bias to judge and condemn other people. It’s become a real epidemic, and frankly, I’m sick of it, because – once again – this is POLITICS, PROFILING, and BULLYING – something people claim to abhor.
When I was a registered nurse fresh out of school, the housekeeper on our hospital unit refused to clean the room of an AIDS patient. She was afraid, and the hospital sent her home. I volunteered to clean the room since I had established a positive rapport with the patient. I donned the appropriate gear and cleaned the room. While I was in there, she and I conversed, and she revealed how isolated and alienated she felt from other people. I took care of her many times after that incident. And I’m glad I did, because she died a few years later. She was only in her late thirties when she passed away. She was annoying in so many ways! She was demanding and obnoxious! And she had very poor hygiene. She came into the hospital with lice more than once. But she was suffering both physically and emotionally. She was human. I learned a valuable lesson about courage and acceptance. And I never got HIV/AIDS or lice from my interactions with her.
One morning, when I was starting my shift on an inpatient psychiatric unit, two Native American clients came up to me and started complaining about the nightshift nurse. They claimed she was rude to them and, therefore, must be a white supremacist racist who hated natives. Now, I knew this RN very well. I empathized with them because, yes, she could be very rude and abrasive to anybody. But racist? I smiled and informed them that she was a card-carrying member of the Cherokee tribe in Oklahoma. In fact, she is a direct descendant of Sequoyah, the Cherokee who created the first Cherokee language syllabary. The response I got was, “Well, THAT tribe will let anybody in!” However, they both looked very foolish and never mentioned it again. I informed the RN that patients had complained about her being rude, and that was the end of it.
Another morning, it was very early, and the only client awake and in the dayroom was a black man from Africa. He was ranting and raving about how racist the staff were and how victimized he felt. I got sick of hearing about it because I knew it wasn’t true. We had a very diverse team of workers who were black (some from Africa), Hispanic, Native American, white, gay, etc. I had never witnessed any incidences of racism or overheard any racist remarks made by staff on the unit. We all took pride in working as a team to treat our patients fairly, equally, empathetically, and compassionately. I slammed my fist down on the table, which shocked both my co-worker and the client, and said, “Bullshit!” He stopped ranting and raving, and then we talked about what was really bothering him. He was Muslim and needed a place to say his prayers. So I got him blankets and towels and whatever else he needed, and he went into a private place and said his prayers. He never talked about racism again, he participated in the program, and he was discharged a few days later. It may sound rough, but getting past the racism barrier helped this gentleman get the help he needed. I have never lied to my patients and never will. And sometimes the truth, no matter how raw, is what turns people around and sets them free from the demons they are fighting
The counselors on our inpatient psychiatric unit did not like talking to psychotic patients because they saw no value in it. However, I disagreed and always made a point of talking to them, if for no other reason than to establish some kind of rapport. One client was so manic, she was completely psychotic. She would crawl around on the floor, imitating different animals, eat with her hands, and refuse to talk to anybody. This had been going on for a while, without any improvement. One day, when I came on shift, she was in the quiet room talking to herself, dancing, jumping up and down, and basically “bouncing off the walls.” I sat in there for twenty minutes listening to her, asking her questions, and listening for that “thread of truth” that often came through when psychotics babbled on. It became clear to me as I listened to her that she just wanted to be normal and to be treated like everybody else. When I began talking to her about this, she nodded her head and suddenly stopped what she was doing. She calmed down. After that, she stopped all of her bizarre behaviors, took her medications, and quickly got well enough to go home. Why? Because somebody took the time to listen to her and look past her bizarre behavior.
As a registered nurse, especially as a psychiatric nurse, I have seen people at their worst and their ugliest. I have been called names, threatened, and ignored. I have never let that stop me from helping someone, if I could help them. And it has been the difficult ones, the ones who make you want to tear your hair out, who have been the most rewarding, — because they are the people who truly need the help.
Dawn Pisturino, RN
November 6, 2021
Copyright 2021 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
The heavy iron gates of Bellemont Cemetery stood open like silent sentries, daring her to enter. Lila hesitated, fearful that once she passed through those gates, they would close behind her, trapping her in a cold, dark, colorless place forever. Thick brick walls enclosed the historic cemetery on all sides, walls much too high to climb if she became trapped. She forced herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath, squelching the rising wave of panic inside her. Then, heart pounding, she hurried through the ominous gates and breathed a sigh of relief when they remained open behind her.
A thick line of trees leaned wearily against the walls, their branches swaying in the cold wind. All around her, the trees were alive with sound: raindrops drip, dripping off rain-soaked leaves onto the rich, mossy soil below; a merry chorus of tiny birds chattering in the treetops, flitting here, then there, delighting in their wet, dewy bower. Overhead, the sky was heavy with white and gray clouds moving rapidly with the wind. More rain threatened to fall. But suddenly, long beams of shimmering sunlight broke through the clouds, caressing the earth with wraith-like fingers, providing a glimpse of heaven, and the possibility of angels breaking into song. Raindrops glistened like silver beads of light in the trees; the last of the autumn leaves burst into fiery red and gold flame; and she was alone, blissfully alone, in a magical world.
Lila breathed in the pure, rain-washed air; inhaled the heavy odor of decaying leaves; the spicy scents of cedar and pine; and the delicate perfume of roses, pink ones and black ones, which she carried in a large bouquet in her hands. She held them to her nose, luxuriating in the sweet aroma, and felt the wetness of raindrops on their velvety petals.
A damp chill rose up from the earth, making her shiver, and she pulled her heavy, black velvet cloak closer around her. The heels of her black leather boots echoed on the pavement. The skirt of her long, black velvet dress clung to her with dampness. But she didn’t care — she was nearly there.
At a fork in the path, she stopped. Gingerly, she stuck one booted foot onto the rain-soaked autumn grass, turned stubby and brown. But the ground held firm, so she continued through the grass, feeling the cold dampness penetrate into her feet.
She walked among the ancient headstones with care, noting with sadness how they leaned and crumbled in the shadows, their weathered faces obliterated over time, their stories forever silenced, forgotten, erased from the world. But a few remained to tell their tales: Baby Emma, dead of pneumonia after two days of life in 1842; Mary Whitehead, Beloved Wife and Mother, died age 27 in childbirth, May She Rest in Peace; Harold Whitby, who died a local hero in the Civil War; and Hope Blaisdale, born 1767, Asleep in the Arms of Jesus since 1857.
So many lives, come and gone; so many hopes and dreams passed away; so many joys and sorrows extinguished forever; so many years gone by. Both the hardness and frailty of life were represented in this place, and she was overcome, once again, with the stark realization of life’s shortness and the finality of death.
She found what she wanted in the newer section of the cemetery, a gentle, grassy slope once sparsely populated. But ten years had witnessed the gradual appearance of many smooth, cleanly-engraved marble headstones, and the open, park-like feel of this section was disappearing. Many of the more recent headstones were simple oblong markers embedded in the soil, flush with the earth, to make it more convenient for the mowers. They lacked the character and history of the older stones. But here they were, and here they would stay, until decades from now they, too, would appear weathered and worn, a testament to the passage of Time.
She had insisted on a more enduring headstone to honor the memory of her dead husband. She stood before it now, examining the clean whiteness of the weeping angel’s marble arms flung mournfully over the shiny, black marble headstone where her husband’s vital statistics were deeply engraved. It was not a new idea. The Victorians had doted on the image of weeping grief. She had borrowed the idea from William Wetmore Story, an American artist who sculpted the original monument for himself and his wife in 1894. It now stood in the Protestant cemetery in Rome, where they were buried. Lila had kept most of the original design but paid the sculptor to sculpt her own image onto the angel’s face — and it was her own grief represented in the statue.
She knelt before the marble monument and placed the pink and black roses in the bronze vase embedded in the marble base. Pink for everlasting love; black for everlasting death. It was an annual ritual which had consumed her life for the last ten years. She uncovered her head, feeling the damp, misty air all around her, and traced the carved letters of her husband’s name with one gloved finger.
“Happy birthday, Jonathan,” she said softly, and tears filled her eyes. With loving hands, she brushed away a few dead leaves clinging stubbornly to the cold, wet marble. Ten years ago, she had vowed to keep his memory pristine and shining. She would not allow him to be forever silenced.
The dull ache of her everyday grief filled the empty loneliness of her life, reminding her listless spirit that she was still very much alive and obligated to remain so until either God or the devil decided otherwise; but today, on the most special day of her year, when the ritual of her grief found its most sublime expression, she needed no reminder of the separation that lay between herself and her husband. The hardness of the marble headstone felt all too real beneath her fingers; the shortness of his precious life felt all too bitter in her heart:
Jonathan Harkins
Born October 31, 1952
Died June 21, 1997
Beloved Husband, Lover, and Friend
She leaned over and kissed the cold, hard stone, unmindful of the clinging dampness or the tears streaming down her face.
“Tonight,” she said hopefully, and believed it in her heart.
* * *
At nine o’clock, when she felt certain there would be no more Halloween revelers at the front door, she stoked up the fire in the fireplace, turned down the lights, and placed a small, round mahogany table in front of the fire. She covered the table with a large square of deep purple velvet cloth and set out the wooden Ouija board and plastic planchette. She placed a small silver candelabra on the table next to the Ouija board, filled the candleholders with pink and black candles, and carefully lit each one. The effect was charmingly romantic, definitely Gothic, in keeping with her annual birthday ritual; and she said a silent prayer, hoping that this would be the year when Jonathan’s promise would come true. Then she changed into a long, black velvet gown embroidered with tiny silver stars and waited for her guests to arrive.
It wasn’t long before she heard a brisk knock on the front door, and she opened it with a large smile to admit two women of varying ages and costumes. They removed their coats, handing them to their hostess, and looked around the darkened room in expectation.
“How charming!” exclaimed a young woman with blazing red hair and large, green eyes dressed in a long-sleeved, forest green gown with red embroidery on the tight bodice. The material clung to her slender figure, emphasizing her plump breasts. “Lila, you’ve absolutely outdone yourself!” She leaned up and kissed her hostess on the cheek.
Lila crossed her fingers. “This year, Maureen; it has to be this year!”
“We’ll do our best, my dear.” She turned to her companion. “This is Madame Angeline, our guest psychic, just arrived from Boston, Massachusetts. Her reputation is impeccable!”
The older woman with platinum blonde hair and faded violet eyes was dressed in a long-sleeved, lavender-colored gown adorned with vintage cream-colored lace at the wrists and throat. An old ivory cameo was pinned to the starched, Victorian-style high collar, and Lila wondered how the woman could breathe. She stretched out her hand, and the woman took it gently, turning it over to examine her palm.
“Madame Angeline sees many things, my dear,” she said with a slight French accent. “But for you, I see a long, happy life — if you will allow it to be.”
Lila removed her hand from the old woman’s grasp. “Thank you, Madame,” she said nervously. “We will see tonight if that prophesy comes true or not.”
Madame Angeline shrugged. “A cup of hot tea with cream would be lovely. The air is quite damp outside.”
“Certainly. And you, Maureen?”
“I’ll pass. I’m nervous enough without adding caffeine.”
“Then, I’ll be right back,” Lila said. “Here, the table is all ready. Please take your preferred seat, Madame.”
“Merci.” The old woman seated herself in front of the Ouija board where she could easily reach the planchette. The chair opposite was left for Lila, and Maureen took the third chair to the side.
Lila returned shortly with a serving trolley bearing a large pot of black tea and a small, white birthday cake decorated with pink and black candles.
Madame Angeline observed the cake with a strange look in her eyes, but said nothing. Maureen smiled apologetically. “Lila, dear, you really must explain to Madame what this is all about.”
Lila poured cups of hot tea for herself and Madame Angeline and sat down in the empty chair. She took a few sips of the strong hot liquid and began:
“My husband, Jonathan, was a psychologist who became interested in the paranormal when he took on a young man with schizophrenic tendencies as a patient. This young man was a gifted artist who had visions of another world after death. He painted beautiful canvasses depicting a world full of light and angels and unearthly spirits. His paintings sold well, but the young man’s visions grew in frequency to the point where he could no longer function in the real world. He began to drink and use street drugs, and he finally sought counseling for his substance abuse.
“Jonathan took the young man under his wing, so to speak, and became convinced over time that the young man’s visions were real. He became obsessed with the idea of life after death, reading every book he could find on the subject.
“When Jonathan was diagnosed with brain cancer, we were both devastated. Right from the beginning, the doctors told us it was hopeless. We tried chemo and radiation, but nothing worked. We finally turned to hospice, and Jonathan died in this very house ten years ago.
“Before he died, however, he promised to come back on his birthday and prove to me that there is life after death. We chose a special number code that only he and I knew, and if that code was revealed during a seance or Ouija session, that would be his message to me that life after death is real and everlasting.
“It sounds crazy, I know, but I have celebrated his birthday and honored his death every year for the last ten years without fail. We have hired a different psychic or medium every year, to no avail. There has been nothing but silence from the grave. We were hoping that tonight would be different.”
She reached over and squeezed Maureen’s hand. “Maureen has been my loyal friend through all of this. She has been right here with me through all the disappointment and pain for the last ten years. He has to come tonight, Madame, he has to! I don’t know how much more of this I can stand!”
Madame Angeline listened to her gravely, then closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Then she placed her fingers gently on the planchette.
“Place your fingers lightly on the planchette, and do not force it to move!” The two women complied. “Now, open your minds and hearts to the celestial realm and join me in calling on the spirit of Jonathan Harkins!”
Lila’s heart leaped in her chest in anticipation. Please, God, let tonight be the night, she prayed silently.
Madam Angeline continued. “Jonathan Harkins, ten years ago, before you passed on to the other side, you made a promise to your wife, Lila, that you would send a message to her from the other side on the anniversary of your birthday if — and only if — you were able to do so. Please come to us tonight, on the anniversary of your forty-fifth birthday, and deliver that message!”
The fire crackled in the background, and the candles softly flickered. Outside, the wind howled gently against the windows. Then the soft patter of rain could be heard upon the roof. The lighted jack-o-lantern sitting on the hearth grinned a snaggle-toothed grin, and the odor of burning wax and pine logs filled the room. But the planchette did not move.
Once again, Madame Angeline took a deep breath, let it out, and continued. “I call upon all the spirits of Heaven and Hell to dissolve the veil between life and death, spirit and flesh, darkness and light, and allow the spirit of our beloved Jonathan Harkins to break on through to this material world on this holiest of nights, when the barriers between life and death are at their weakest, so that he may impart the message he promised to give to his beloved wife, Lila.”
Lila’s heart pounded in her chest, and a thin film of sweat dampened her brow. Her fingers trembled, but the planchette did not move. She looked nervously at Maureen and smiled faintly. Maureen smiled back reassuringly, her eyes glowing like green emeralds in the candlelight.
Once again, Madame Angeline closed her eyes, threw back her head, and said loudly, “I call upon the spirit of Jonathan Harkins to appear in this room and deliver the message he promised to give ten years ago!”
Lila and Maureen each held their breath as they waited for the planchette to begin moving idly across the board, slowly at first, then gathering speed. But instead of searching for alphabetical letters or numbers or touching upon the oui or the ja or even good-bye, the little plastic instrument sat there silently, mocking them both.
Lila stared at the planchette in disbelief. “It’s no good, my dear,” Madame Angeline said quietly. “Jonathan is not going to appear.”
“I don’t believe it,” Lila said, gripping the planchette tightly. “You didn’t try hard enough. In fact, you hardly tried at all.”
Madame Angeline reached for her hand across the table. “Remember what I said, cherie. You will have a long and happy life — IF YOU ALLOW IT. Ten years is a long time to wait. You are still young — only 42, am I right? Young enough to remarry — have a child, if you like. This obsession with grief is unhealthy. Life was meant for the living. For some unknown reason, Jonathan is not able to reach you from beyond the grave. That does not mean he’s lost to you forever or that he’s suffering in any way. It simply means that it’s not God’s will that he contact you. It’s time to let it go.”
“I can’t let it go, especially when he promised –“
“People make a lot of promises on their deathbeds, my dear; sometimes, not very wise ones.” Madame Angeline stood up and prepared to leave. “If you will bring my coat, Lila, I will say good-night to you.”
Lila stared at the little plastic planchette held tightly in her hand. Ten years of grief and frustrated hope burned inside of her, and she wanted to scream. She squeezed the planchette until the plastic cracked in her hand, and she threw it on the floor in disgust. Then she grabbed the Ouija board and flung it into the fireplace, making the fire sizzle and pop.
Lila stood up and pointed an accusing finger at Madame Angeline. “You don’t believe me! You never believed that Jonathan would come back! You’re nothing but a fraud!”
“Lila!” Maureen cried. “Madame Angeline is just trying to help you!”
“She’s not receptive to help,” Madame Angeline said sternly. “Please get my coat so I can leave.”
When they heard the knock on the front door, they were all startled, then annoyed. It was too late for visitors. Cautiously, Lila opened the front door without releasing the safety chain. She peered through the open crack at a stranger visible under the porch light. He was standing in the rain holding his brown overcoat over his head. He smiled at her apologetically.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but I seem to have run out of gas, and my cell phone battery is dead. Can I please use your phone? I know it’s late, but I have no other way to get home. I live about two blocks from here, at 12145 Maplewood Court. I could walk, I guess, but the weather isn’t too good out here. I’d really appreciate it.”
Lila stared at him, not believing her ears. “12145, you said? Did you say 12145?”
“That’s what I said.”
Lila’s heart leaped in her chest. “12145!” she exclaimed, clutching her hands to her breast and laughing ecstatically. She turned around. “That’s it! That’s the code! Did you hear, Madame Angeline? He’s come back! Jonathan’s come back!”
Maureen and Madame Angeline stared at her in stunned silence.
“Did you hear me?” Lila cried. “JONATHAN’S COME BACK! That man out there just gave me the code!”
But Maureen and Madame Angeline just looked at her in disbelief.
“Here, I’ll prove it to you!” Lila fumbled with the safety chain, released it, and threw open the door. But the stranger was already down the walk, disappearing into the rainy darkness. “No!” Lila cried. “Please don’t go!” She hurried after him, arms waving wildly, and calling frantically, “Come back!” until the rain and darkness engulfed him, and she was alone.
* * *
NOTE: This story is about Lila’s fear of death, her attachment to grief, and her inability to accept her husband’s death. Sometimes, authors get attached to their own words – “their little darlings,” as Stephen King would say. I would really like feedback from you, The Reader! Is the story too long? Too boring? Too wordy? What needs to be cut out? Or is it okay as it is? Please leave your feedback in the comments below – and, thanks!
Dawn Pisturino
October 15, 2021
Copyright 2009-2021 Dawn Pisturino. All Rights Reserved.
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